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Motherhood- The Beautiful Chaos That You Are
Last week my little girl turned 1, and I couldn’t believe it. Days leading up to her birthday my mum kept calling me to remind me of moments that led up to her birth a year ago. How I had had discomforts and suddenly started to feel like I was coming down with a fever — in real sense my body was preparing to have her the next day. I have watched my little girl grow from the newborn who looked into space, to the infant who had her first smile at me, who babbled and nibbled at her fingers when hungry, who smiled at me during bath time whenever…
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MUM GUILT
The Question That LingersThere are moments when my thoughts wander. I do a quick check-in and I ask myself: “Am I doing enough?” This thought creeps in unexpectedly, and most of the time the generic answer to that is “No.” Harsh, but true — I often feel like I’m not doing enough, despite how much time I spend with my little girl. Whenever I get the opportunity for a moment of me time, no matter how short it is, I feel guilty. Because somewhere in my conscious and subconscious, my world should revolve around her all the time. I need that rest, but I don’t feel like I deserve it. An Unwanted VisitorMum guilt feels…
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When the nest goes quiet.
After my very first post, I lost myself. Not in the deep sense, but in the swirl of *mothering*. I kept reminding myself I would come back and post daily, but I never did. And you know when you avoid something for so long that the thought of it comes with guilt? That’s how I felt. When I remembered my blog, my passion, and the goals I had set, I felt like I was failing myself. I was so disappointed in my lackluster attitude that I shoved the guilty thought of leaving my blog dormant somewhere my mind couldn’t reach. And then one day, I had a vulnerable experience. I…
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My First Real Scare
I’d been in hospitals before. I’d spent days there, visited family and friends—but nothing prepared me for my last visit. It started with a slight change in temperature. I thought it would be a casual hospital visit—consultation, medication, and we’d be back home. But things spiraled quickly: tests, crying, my baby shrieking and shaking from a new kind of pain her innocent body wasn’t used to. And the worst part? Watching her go through it while I stood there helpless, unable to lift her up or ease her pain. I saw a tiny piece of innocence leave her eyes that day. She was introduced to the world of hospitals—the smell,…